"Did I say, a few days since, that I had
nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? Did I forbid
myself to think of him in any other light than as a paymaster? Blasphemy
against nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have, gathers impulsively
around him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must
remember that he cannot care much for me. For when I say that I am of his kind,
I do not mean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract: I
mean only that I have certain tastes and
feelings in common with him. I must, then, repeat continually that we are forever
sundered:- and yet, while I breathe and think I must love him" (Bronte 260).
And- to this I must add- that I didn't meet a man
that I truly liked until I was 23.
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